Tagged: loneliness

No Carrier
So once again I’m drawn back here,
Alone atop the hill.
And just like always, thoughts run free,
And these ghosts haunt me still.
The cloudless skies show fractures now,
A rift begins to show;
Into those white tears high above
My memories start to flow.
I raise my fists to godless skies,
As if to make of them
Antennae to communicate,
To speak with you again
But hopes and dreams are cruel designs,
Be wary of their cost;
They’ll lull you into comfort lies
When everything is lost.
Reluctantly i leave this place,
Transmissions sent to sky
But soon i will return again
To witness your reply
Probably more effective than tinder
Um…does anyone
Fancy a date? Like, with me?
No? Ok then. Cool
Enjoy view; lament solitude; hate self
A wonderful day;
Wonderful view, but no-one
With which to share it.
The Saturday night misery train
Not for the first time
I sit here contemplating
That I am nothing
If you watched a movie and it started off really good but now it just flat out sucks, would you bother staying till the end?
Things will never be
As good as they used to be.
Why am I still here?
Broken Compass
I’ve been spending the last few days boxing up my things as I’m moving house soon. It’s a soul destroying task, and as you’d expect, I’ve been distracting myself with other things, like songwriting.
Here’s what I came up with.
A song about the directionless melancholy of the individual.
You said you’d wait for me
I said I’d get there on my own,
But not before I knew exactly where to go
But now it seems to me
My compass spins without control
And every star winks out and I am left alone
And every road I walk is just another
Blind shot in the dark,
No route, no maps, no goals
I’ve followed in the footsteps of the many
Great and good, but no;
This is not me.
And so I find myself
About a million miles from home
And still no closer to the place I need to go.
Are you still waiting there?
Will you come and meet me on the road?
The burning bridges show exactly where to go
And every road I walk is just another
Blind shot in the dark,
No route, no maps, no goals
And yet I cut my own path to whatever
Place I want to go,
Cause I am free!
I’m free.
Solitary havens mark my passage through the dark;
All abandoned, but not forgotten, there I left my mark.
Forever I shall wander now, it’s too late to start again
But for what it’s worth just know I’ll always be your friend.
Schwarzchild Scream
Late night screams fall on deaf ears;
Either they just ain’t listening
Or they were never really here
To listen anyway,
Just to watch, observe, account
And fade back to grey
As night descends.
But these non-committal
Ghosts of my past still
Haunt the places I fear to go:
Places drenched in long ago
Events, the stain of choices rendered
With no thought to consequence
And no avenue for retreat.
The light leached from my eyes,
The life drained from my heart,
I can’t even summon up the
Energy to whimper anymore.
Stale sweat and crusted tears
A patina across the surface
Of this broken colossus,
Built tall by people long forgotten
And left to weather
And rot
And decay
Once their empire collapsed;
A hint of their once great work
Long since superseded
By the trivial antics of those who came after.
And so my mind draws back from those dark places
And I think to myself:
Am I the one screaming?
Or am I just the amplifier?