Tagged: loneliness

No Carrier

So once again I’m drawn back here,
Alone atop the hill.
And just like always, thoughts run free,
And these ghosts haunt me still.

The cloudless skies show fractures now,
A rift begins to show;
Into those white tears high above
My memories start to flow.

I raise my fists to godless skies,
As if to make of them
Antennae to communicate,
To speak with you again

But hopes and dreams are cruel designs,
Be wary of their cost;
They’ll lull you into comfort lies
When everything is lost.

Reluctantly i leave this place,
Transmissions sent to sky
But soon i will return again
To witness your reply

Broken Compass

I’ve been spending the last few days boxing up my things as I’m moving house soon. It’s a soul destroying task, and as you’d expect, I’ve been distracting myself with other things, like songwriting.

Here’s what I came up with.

A song about the directionless melancholy of the individual.

You said you’d wait for me
I said I’d get there on my own,
But not before I knew exactly where to go

But now it seems to me
My compass spins without control
And every star winks out and I am left alone

And every road I walk is just another
Blind shot in the dark,
No route, no maps, no goals

I’ve followed in the footsteps of the many
Great and good, but no;
This is not me.

And so I find myself
About a million miles from home
And still no closer to the place I need to go.

Are you still waiting there?
Will you come and meet me on the road?
The burning bridges show exactly where to go

And every road I walk is just another
Blind shot in the dark,
No route, no maps, no goals

And yet I cut my own path to whatever
Place I want to go,
Cause I am free!

I’m free.

Solitary havens mark my passage through the dark;
All abandoned, but not forgotten, there I left my mark.

Forever I shall wander now, it’s too late to start again
But for what it’s worth just know I’ll always be your friend.

Schwarzchild Scream

Late night screams fall on deaf ears;
Either they just ain’t listening
Or they were never really here
To listen anyway,
Just to watch, observe, account
And fade back to grey
As night descends.
But these non-committal
Ghosts of my past still
Haunt the places I fear to go:
Places drenched in long ago
Events, the stain of choices rendered
With no thought to consequence
And no avenue for retreat.
The light leached from my eyes,
The life drained from my heart,
I can’t even summon up the
Energy to whimper anymore.
Stale sweat and crusted tears
A patina across the surface
Of this broken colossus,
Built tall by people long forgotten
And left to weather
And rot
And decay
Once their empire collapsed;
A hint of their once great work
Long since superseded
By the trivial antics of those who came after.
And so my mind draws back from those dark places
And I think to myself:
Am I the one screaming?
Or am I just the amplifier?