Category: music

The soundtrack to my battles

I’ve been exercising more recently. Time was I used to run 10Km every weekend, but I got lazy and less inclined to get outside (the weather didn’t help, admittedly, but still). This week, however, there’s only been a single day when I haven’t done some strenuous exercise.

On Sunday I cycled 32Km. On Monday I ran 10Km (and my time was awful because I was so out of practice). On Tuesday I went SCUBA diving. On Wednesday I ran another 10Km. On Thursday I cycled 55Km. Yesterday I rested (I thought I’d earned it). Today I have run another 10Km (my time was a lot better today, but still not where it should be).

Why do I do it? Simple. I need to escape from my daemons. They are many and varied, and they take up residence in my head, where they feed, growing in power, threatening to control me. DISCLAIMER: All daemons mentioned herein are figurative and not literal, in case you think I’m some religious lunatic or otherwise insane.

Because of the different types of daemons I need different methods of escaping them (I long since gave up on actually destroying them, as it was costing me more than I gained) – whether that be strenuous exercise, painting, reading, singing, playing guitar or writing. However, I find that escaping one group of daemons will also help to keep the others at bay.

Supposedly, “serious runners” don’t listen to music when they run. In my experience, “serious” anythings seem to be boring dogmatic people who miss out on the fun side of life. As such, I listen to music when I run (or cycle). I usually listen to high energy punk-rock or melodic hardcore, or perhaps some retro-wave depending on my mood, but I tried something different today.

My usual 10Km run is a straight run to the reservoir, 3 laps round said reservoir and then home. Today I decided to break my pace into intervals of high speed running interspersed with light jogging and walking. Supposedly this interval training is great for weight loss (not that I really need to lose any weight, but hey), but it didn’t really fit in with the music I was listing to, due to the constant changing tempo of my footfalls.

So I decided to listen to the Doom Original Game Soundtrack by Mick Gordon. For those of you who have never played Doom, it’s a SUPERB first person shooter video game wherein you must destroy (quite aptly) hordes of daemons. The daemons tend to attack in waves, gradually getting more powerful, more numerous and larger as you battle them. As this tension mounts, the soundtrack builds with the action, going from a quiet (but threatening), almost ambient background hum to a deafeningly brutal djent crescendo as the most powerful daemons appear. Then once they’re dead, it’s back to the uneasy near-silence.

Listening to this as I ran, I started to feel an almost tangible fear rising as the music increased in intensity, spurring me to run faster, until I was running hell-for-leather (no pun intended) until my lungs were on fire… and then slowing to a walk as the cadence eased off.

To all those readers who engage in interval training, I highly recommend listening to the Doom OGST while doing it. And if you want an idea of how it sounds, listen to this and imagine how it feels to be fleeing the daemons:

So I recorded an album…

Long term readers of this blog may remember a time about three years ago when I posted a message about how I found some like minded musicians on the internet and formed a band. Well, at the weekend, we released our first album.

This means so much to me in so many ways. Firstly, it is the culmination of a lifelong desire -to record an album and have others enjoy my music. Secondly, it’s one of the few projects I’ve ever actually finished. Ordinarily I start enthusiastically, but only get so far before giving up. This album has made me realise that with determination I can see any project through to its conclusion.

I’m pretty pleased with how it turned out. You can listen for yourself, or order a copy of the limited edition CD, from Trespasser’s Band camp page: http://trespasseruk.bandcamp.com

If you want us to play in your venue, email gigs@trespasser.org.uk or if you want more info, go to http://www.trespasser.org.uk

In the meantime, why not watch the video to one of our songs, “Five Fingers Fold To A Fist”

Broken Compass

I’ve been spending the last few days boxing up my things as I’m moving house soon. It’s a soul destroying task, and as you’d expect, I’ve been distracting myself with other things, like songwriting.

Here’s what I came up with.

A song about the directionless melancholy of the individual.

You said you’d wait for me
I said I’d get there on my own,
But not before I knew exactly where to go

But now it seems to me
My compass spins without control
And every star winks out and I am left alone

And every road I walk is just another
Blind shot in the dark,
No route, no maps, no goals

I’ve followed in the footsteps of the many
Great and good, but no;
This is not me.

And so I find myself
About a million miles from home
And still no closer to the place I need to go.

Are you still waiting there?
Will you come and meet me on the road?
The burning bridges show exactly where to go

And every road I walk is just another
Blind shot in the dark,
No route, no maps, no goals

And yet I cut my own path to whatever
Place I want to go,
Cause I am free!

I’m free.

Solitary havens mark my passage through the dark;
All abandoned, but not forgotten, there I left my mark.

Forever I shall wander now, it’s too late to start again
But for what it’s worth just know I’ll always be your friend.

It’s about time

Well it’s valentine’s day, so I decided to write a depressing song. True to form, I fuck it up twice while playing it.

Clouds scar the blue sky
And I miss you
But you’re never coming home
You left it behind
And you’re gone
But not forgotten

Chorus
Oh, Remember those days
When we fought the world
And damned be the consequences
And sure, so sure we’d win
We never thought our world could fall apart

Time heals all wounds
I still miss you
As I look around my home
These things I don’t need
and perhaps
you had it right

It’s time to leave
Too long I’ve let myself rot
I know that I won’t see you again
But I just have to go

I think of the people I’ve left…
Maybe they’ll miss me
But I’m never going home

Stockholm Mask

I know I still have not posted anything about my trip to Kilimanjaro. I have been… not really in the right frame of mind.

I did write a song though, so you can have that instead.

And the lyrics if you’re interested:

Lost sight of everyone
Memories as ghostly as the fog
I’ve no choice but to run and hide
Haunted day and night by this black dog

Unwilling fugitive
Dredging up resistance from my core
Switch, cover up to give a false
Impression of me forevermore

Crushed under the weight of a thousand fucking lies
this Stockholm syndrome Existence
Dug my own grave and lined it well with broken promises
But I refuse to die.

Still alive, still functioning
Burning all the bridges that I cross
Won’t stop though everything is gone
When you feel nothing all you feel no loss

A thousand lies a thousand deaths a thousand fucking more
A thousand shattered slivers of life
Manifest in me, distorted mockery of self, but hear me
I WILL NOT STOP NOW
Dug my own grave and lined it well with broken promises
But I refuse to die.

Five Fingers Fold To A Fist

I wrote this before the general election, but it seems even more relevant now. This will be on the Trespasser album when it finally gets released – at present there’s no recording of it so you’ll have to imagine what it sounds like.

They lie to you,
Again and again,
Twisting their words like a knife in your back
As you smile;
And then they do it some more.
Chronicle unquestioned – sold to us all.

Break this stranglehold on, on our society
Tune out the system, think for yourself
Web of lies you believe will keep you pacified
As long as you think you are free you will never revolt

Stand up and fight, stand up and fight,
REVOLT

Your anger will free you, but first you must unleash your rage.

You can’t change the world with a Facebook status,
Organise! Organise!
We’re taking our lives back from the ones who betrayed us,
Occupy! Occupy!
It’s only gonna happen if we make the decision to
Mobilise! Mobilise!
We’re all victims of reciprocal inhibition,
Globalise! Globalised resistance!

LIFT UP YOUR VOICE

You want the world to stand up and listen?
You need to raise your voice to a scream,
One voice, then two, then eight and then millions,
United resistance!
Take back the streets of your towns in live protest
The fire inside will show you the way,
Freedom through anger turned on oppression
NOW IS OUR TIME!

Resist! Light it up, light it up, stoke the fire!
Resist! Light it up, light it up, stoke the fire!

LET IT BURN