Category: Existentialism

No Carrier

So once again I’m drawn back here,
Alone atop the hill.
And just like always, thoughts run free,
And these ghosts haunt me still.

The cloudless skies show fractures now,
A rift begins to show;
Into those white tears high above
My memories start to flow.

I raise my fists to godless skies,
As if to make of them
Antennae to communicate,
To speak with you again

But hopes and dreams are cruel designs,
Be wary of their cost;
They’ll lull you into comfort lies
When everything is lost.

Reluctantly i leave this place,
Transmissions sent to sky
But soon i will return again
To witness your reply

Stockholm Mask

I know I still have not posted anything about my trip to Kilimanjaro. I have been… not really in the right frame of mind.

I did write a song though, so you can have that instead.

And the lyrics if you’re interested:

Lost sight of everyone
Memories as ghostly as the fog
I’ve no choice but to run and hide
Haunted day and night by this black dog

Unwilling fugitive
Dredging up resistance from my core
Switch, cover up to give a false
Impression of me forevermore

Crushed under the weight of a thousand fucking lies
this Stockholm syndrome Existence
Dug my own grave and lined it well with broken promises
But I refuse to die.

Still alive, still functioning
Burning all the bridges that I cross
Won’t stop though everything is gone
When you feel nothing all you feel no loss

A thousand lies a thousand deaths a thousand fucking more
A thousand shattered slivers of life
Manifest in me, distorted mockery of self, but hear me
I WILL NOT STOP NOW
Dug my own grave and lined it well with broken promises
But I refuse to die.

Faith in Chaos

This
.
This number is one of…
No…
This number is the most sublime

Sublime proof –
If that is
The right word to use in this context –
Perhaps ‘proof’ is not the right word.
But when I see patterns defined
By chaos… It is divine.