Category: comedy

Do not use the cables

I made this a while back after reading an amusing product review on Amazon for some expensive audio cables. Not much more to say really. Turn the lights down.

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That’s not how you pronounce it.

“So, Karl, what OS do you run, Windows or Mac?”
“I run Linux”
“Oh yeah I thought you might be a Line-ux sort of guy”
“Well I like the freedom which Linux gives me.”
“I’ve not really thought about trying Line-ux, what’s it like?”
“Linux?”
“Yeah, Line-ux”
“I want you to die.”

Where them white girls at?

So last night I had a bizarre dream in which I scrawled a grafitto in the form of a poem on the wall in a dressing room of a theatre. In my dream I found the poem hilarious. In real life… well I guess it’s still kind of funny, although I have no idea what it means. Here is that poem:

White girls can party;
Fat girls can roll.
White girls can 27;
Fat girls can porn.

NB: I have no idea what “27” means in this context. Nor have I ever used the word “porn” as a verb (transitive or intransitive).

Interpretations welcome.

Cyber-Industrial-EBM band name generator

Now as you may be aware, I quite like some EBM bands (Like apoptygma Berzerk, VNV Nation, Assemblage-23 and Rotersand), however over recent years there has been an increase in the amount of shoddy EBM bands who seem to write about drugs, partying and little else really. They invariably have totally stupid names too.

While bored one night I spent a whole five minutes knocking this site up: http://www.triplesix.co.uk/bandgenerator.html

I can easily add new words to the database, so feel free to make suggestions in the comments. Also prizes for the best names. And if anyone manages to randomly generate “Oppa-gangnam-style” and get a screenshot, you win the Internet.

One of my favourite so far is: Ultra-Gangnam-XLR8or

Here’s something to listen to while you come up with your names: