Friday night with friends once forgotten

So I sit here again,
With those voices thought banished,
Entertaining thoughts I once managed
To contain.
They’re there in my ear,
They prey on my fear,
They laugh and they sneer and they
Tear open those
Wounds
Thrice
Healed
And there’s nothing I can do about it.
I feel complicit in this heresy
Part of the conspiracy
The silent participant with everything to say
But nobody to say it to.
Shutting my eyes won’t help
And they just talk louder over the music.
But the rational part of me is still there,
He’s sleeping somewhere, murmering a prayer
Which falls on no ears,
A pathetic last scream with no power,
That mewling whimper my only anchor
To sanity
As the voices get louder
And louder and louder
Building to a deafening
CRESCENDO

And then they fall silent.

And in my solitude,
I miss them.

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