Mix 2 tablespoons of dark soy sauce, 1 tablespoon of light soy, 1 tablespoon of mirrin, a teaspoon of balsamic vinegar, a teaspoon of sugar and a tiny bit of cornflour in a bowl, and sprinkle in some chinese 5 spice seasoning (which consists of fennel, cinnamon, cloves, ginger and star anise, if you can’t find it on the shelf), and a little cayenne pepper. Then soften some onions in a wok for a few minutes. add some chopped ginger and garlic, and fry fior 30 seconds on a medium heat. add a bunch of chopped veg, like beansprouts, pak choi, chopped carrots, spring onion and sprinkle in a little 5-spice. Stir fry on a high heat for 2-3 minutes. Meanwhile, boil up some egg or rice noodles. Once they’ve boiled, drain them and rinse well in cold water. Add the noodles and the sauce mix to the wok, and stir fry well for about a minute, making sure everything’s nicely covered.
There you go, Chow Mein. It’s literally the easiest thing in the world to make.