So the move is finally over and all of the boxes have been emptied. The house is still a mess, but it’s a manageable one. Got a new washing machine and a new fridge. Exciting, I know. But here’s where my bad luck comes into play again.
The washing machine went in all right and worked and started washing clothes. Great! I mean, that’s all it needs to do, right? So off I go upstairs to drink coffee and listen to Taalam Acey while putting old Spectrum games into a box on the shelf. Nothing to worry about, right?
Well done if you’re already ahead of me here. The washing machine had pissed water all over the goddess-damned floor. I shouldn’t be surprised though really, should I? After all, the washing machine is something I’ve bought, and when does anything I ever buy turn out to be worth the money I’ve spent on it? Never mind, I think, I’ll just mop up the water, and call the guy out tomorrow. Let’s at least get my clothes out so I can hang them to dry. I said, “let’s at least get my clothes out so I can hang them to dry.” Except I can’t, because the sodding door won’t open. But why would it? I mean, all it needs to do is open when I want it to. I mean, that’s its one job in life. And according to Karl’s Law, “anything Karl spends money on will not work as intended.” So the machine has eaten my clothes and refuses to give them back.
Sigh. At least the fridge works. That’s something I guess.
Oh and at least I have half a million baby spiders crawling through my hallway after hatching from a hidden egg-sac in the middle of the night. I mean, AWESOME, right? THE MIRACLE OF LIFE. Still, as I was sucking them up with the vacuum cleaner, I felt a surge of power. I had control over these little creatures’ lives. I could exterminate them on a whim, or suck them up and empty them into the bin. Or, if I was feeling generous, let them continue to live in my hall way. I won’t lie, I felt powerful. God-like. I wonder if this is how Eris feels as she continually fucks with my life.
Audentes fortuna iuvat. Fortune may favour the brave, but the difference between Tyche and Eris is that Tyche wasn’t utterly insane. It seems even when there are no women in my life, there’s still a woman messing my life up.