Please get out the new road if you can’t lend a hand…

I took at a trip to the windfarm which is currently under construction in a nearby village today. Eighty percent of the day had been wasted and I was determined to do something other than sit in the house drinking coffee. So I took my camera and walked the mile or so to the windfarm to grab some pictures.

Now, the local inhabitants have been in direct opposition to the windfarm. They claim it’s a terrible thing, predominantly because it will lower property values, but they also seem to have a plethora of other reasons which they frequently send out in propaganda mail outs around the village. I’ll address a few of these reasons in turn (If anyone out there lives in an area with some sort of opposition to Windfarms, leave a comment so that I know I’m not alone, please?).

OK so reason number 1: they’re too noisy. Allegedly, these turbines make such a terrible racket that it becomes impossible to sleep. Allegedly, the very earth continually vibrates, driving people insane. Now, the M1 motorway passes right next to the village. When I was stood reasonably near the turbines, all I could hear was the M1. I’m not sure what the vibrations thing was all about, I believe the locals read about it on a crazy conspiracy website.

Reason number 2: they kill birds. Many of these propaganda leaflets feature pictures of birds neatly sliced in half, presumably from the turbine blades, which as we all know are honed to a monomolecular edge in order to slice through anything in their path, right? Right? I have no idea how these birds in the pictures got sliced up, but I’m fairly certain it wasn’t a wayward flight into a wind turbine. I imagine the blades could give them a good bludgeoning if the flock was careless, but nice and sliced? I’m dubious. Besides, even if this was possible, I’m sure a few birds killed by turbine blades is an acceptable alternative to the death of all birds on the planet due to climate change.

Reason number 3: when they catch fire, they burn for weeks. I see. How often do these things catch fire? How many times have you read anywhere about a towering wind turbine inferno, burning with unquenchable flame which threatens to destroy entire cities? I suspect it’s a nice round number. Besides, if these things do catch fire, and burn for weeks, then surely it just means we have some cool looking fires up on one hundred and sixty metre high poles. Like a poor man’s olympic torch.

Reason 4: when the blades come off, they travel for miles, carving out a swathe of destruction. This is sort of reason 3 taken to a whole new level of crazy. I think these people genuinely believe that blades flying off and totalling villages is a regular occurrence. I don’t really have much to say on that. Perhaps they believe that every nuclear power station will meltdown at least twice a year too?

Reason 5: they cause asthma. This is my personal favourite. I don’t even think they properly explained the science behind this, but apparently, wind turbines in the village could cause chronic genetic breathing disorders. That’s right. THEY’RE STEALING THE AIR! BREATHE WHILE YOU CAN!

Reason 6: they cause epilepsy. On a par with reason 5 here. The spinning of the blades supposedly has a strobe-like effect which causes another genetic disorder and will have men women and children collapsing to the ground with seizures every five minutes. Again, a scientific explanation is entirely absent from their propaganda.

Reason 7: they will cause changes in the Earth’s orbit and rotation. This is off the charts as far as oddball crazy is concerned, so I’m going to repeat that just so that you can confirm that you read it correctly: they will cause changes in the Earth’s orbit and rotation. Yes, that’s right. These people looked at the turbines, and probably noted that they have a similar appearance to aircraft propellers. And so in what can only be described as “Lilbourne logic”, they assume that with enough of these propellers in action, they will act as a little engine for the Earth, making it spin in wider circles around the sun, or changing the rotational period so that a day becomes only 17 hours or something. I am not making this up, these people actually believe this.

I generally became ostracised from the rest of the village when I hung a poster in my window which said “I say YES to the windfarm!” in a mockery of all of their “we say NO!” posters. The leader of the village protest group (a man I shall refer to here as Don Quixote) was loudly proclaiming that “They’re ineffective, and only last for twenty years!” I drew his ire when I asked how long oil fired power stations last when there’s no oil left to burn.

One village inhabitant is considering making their house into a pub to serve the village. They sent round a questionnaire asking for some suggested names. So far they have suggested “The Station Inn” and “The Village Inn”. I suggested “The Windf Arms”. I’m not sure how well my suggestion will go down. I’m sure they’ll be chasing me with pitchforks soon enough. After all, I do have a purrrdy mouth.

But all of that aside, The windfarm itself looks spectacular, this photo really doesn’t do it justice (click to expand):


Support renewable energy, and have fun messing with NIMBYs’ heads.


One comment

  1. peterjph

    There is a lot of hysteria surrounding wind turbines. Sometime they cause genuine problems, such as shadow flicker or noise, but the technology now can eliminate these issues. For example, when the sun aligns such that shadow flicker will affect a nearby village, the turbines can be programmed to slow down, removing any shadow flicker issues.

    Yes they are may be ugly in some people’s opinions,but that’s the only issue…the rest are just excuses not to have them. Expensive? Yes. But I really don’t understand people’s reasoning for citing expense as a valid objection – do they not realise how scarce and expensive oil is going to become?

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