And another day seems to have just evaporated. In truth, I had no plans for the day. I feel as if I’m trapped in a state of Limbo. I cannot move things to the tip as my car is still out of action. Supposedly it was supposed to be fixed tonight, but that doesn’t look like it’s going to happen now, and so it remains sat on my drive.
And yet there are things I could be doing which do not necessitate the use of a car. I have a plethora of books to read. I have countless models which need painting. I have rooms full of stuff to sort out. I can do all of this without my car. So why have I sat here drinking coffee and playing guitar? Why have I done nothing constructive all day? In short, where the hell has my time actually gone?
It’s one thing to spend a day doing nothing with friends. It’s another thing entirely to spend a day doing nothing with noone. It shouldn’t really bother me; after all, it’s been a pretty relaxing day. But those nagging voices in my head are getting chatty again.
I think for the most part the thing that has been bothering me has been the rediscovery of an old song. I had genuinely forgotten about its existence, but when I listened to it, it triggered a wave of memories. Memories of old times, of friends once known, of lives once lived, now all gone. I was unable to focus on the happy memories as I am sat here in a house I hate, apparently wasting my time. But that song is still there, still playing, still reminding me.
I did manage to figure out how to play it on my guitar though, so I suppose today has not been a total wash out.
By Goddess, I want my damn car fixed.